This Is What It's Like to Date As a Young American Muslim
American muslim dating rules met my boyfriend over a year ago and played the hard to get game at the start. I didn't know if I really liked him until he started to appreciate me and prove he wanted to be with me. I knew he was a player and he knew I wanted there to play. So the old fligns disappeared and we started american muslim dating rules serious relationship.
I moved in to his home and all the ex flings were GONE! It has been true love and I was his first serious relationship in almost years! He went from partying bachlor to settled down man with his lady. I thought wow, I am actually settling this guy down! He might be the 'one'! I might be his 'one'! We haven't even talked about future plans but we take the relationship day by american muslim dating rules. He's been living in North America for 10 years and has learned to leave the North American way.
He still supports his family back home american muslim dating rules sending them money on a monthly basis. I know how hard it is to have family overseas and no one here. But as of late, he started getting in touch with his religion. He realized he wanted to fast for Ramadan and take it seriously and I was definiately supporting him. I'm Catholic but religion isn't an issue with me. I love to learn about new cultures and religions.
He started fasting and things were fine. Don't forget, he can't eat from sunrise to sunset, he can't do drugs, or drink, or have sex or involve in anything to do with getting excited! He promptly asked me to go home for a month because we weren't married and its been hard to see me walk around the house without getting excited. At first I was offended but then I accepted and went home to american muslim dating rules mom's to give him space. We ended up doing dinner on the weekend and to my surprise he drank wine at dinner and ate before sunset!
I was upset because I've been supporting him on his fasting but he seems to not be following the rules! On the way home I could tell he was exhausted and he still didn't want to get physical. So we kept our space and he passed out once we got into the door. The next morning I woke him up and kiss him and he freaked out saying "I can't touch you because we're not married! I have barelly seen him in two weeks and on the weekend we had a fight about it and we are taking a break. I don't know what american muslim dating rules expect.
Is he really fasting from me because of sex before marriage and his family american muslim dating rules A perfect relationship turned into a deadly break for now. I dont have the foudnation of security for the future cause we never really talked about getting married. I know his priorities are his family and supporting them and getting out of debt so he can start a new life here. But how long can he support his family? I know marriage isn't even on the plate right now but there is definitely pressure coming from his Month overseas.
But there is also pressure to send them money every month. What do I do?! I'm not ready for settling down because I want to focus on school and my career. But I do want someone and I feel like I've messed it up because of my demands and that he has because of his family. Do I get out - because i'm not in his plans right now I wont be down the road? What are your demands? You could just wait until after Ramadan to see what happens.
However, don't blame yourself too much because, as you said, he has broken his fasting with other things. There is also the issue of supporting his family. Expect that to be a constant issue. I still don't know what your demands are. Also, do you have an idea of how long this space is supposed to be? I know he wants marriage and kids down the road but and he knows I do too but I feel like theres no security and that he's going to always support his family and not worry about his own life.
I dont want to waste 6 years down the road and him finally say "you're not the one". Space will do good for now until he figures stuff out. You may want to add another week to that by waiting to see if he contacts you first. It's not as though he said that he would settle this the minute Ramadan ends. Besides, he is probably expecting you to call right at that time, so show that he shouldn't expect you to wait for him all the time. Think about the situation that he is in right now also.
Having to come to America by himself, having all of his family left behind, and having to support them too. He has a lot on his plate to think about. Also, you say that he just got in touch with his religion again. I'm not sure the exact reasons on why he decided to do this now, he may be feeling guilty about abandoning his religion for so long. Maybe he thinks that he was abandoning his culture and family that is still back in his homeland, and that freaked him out.
I would do as Guy suggested and give him a little space, even after September 20th. Let him figure out what he wants, and let him come to you. At that point, once he is in american muslim dating rules control of his own thoughts and feelings, you can tell him about the issues that you have been having, about your "demands". But i would not do it too soon, i would wait until he comes to you, for you don't want to scare him away, or get him frustrated.
You don't want to sound like another burden on his already full plate. I am actually going through th esame thing. Dating a muslim man, two days before ramadan he told me The Rules - no sex unless married. We had only been going out for a month, and it was a very heavy, sexual relationship - our chemistry was strong from the onset, and neither of us had been science courseware virtual dating certificate anyone previously for a long, long time almost 3 years for me.
Anyway - he had a "weak moment" during ramadan, called me, we talked about it, and so he came over; I didn't think it would be a big deal, but when we finished he immediately ran out the door and felt terrible. We are not communicating now; he can't handle being near me, because it tempts him. I agreed to keep it plutonic with no contact until after it is over. He said he'd call, but he has a trip planned overseas to see his family and will not return until 2 weeks after ramadan is over.
It may be over with us - he said he'd contact me but I just don't know.