Auntie SparkNotes: My Friend Is Dating My Secret Crush
My problem is not urgent, exciting, or probably anything new, but I decided to write to you because I need your advice! For the past sparknptes and a half years, I have been dating the most amazing man. We are both in our early twenties and he is everything I could want in a guy, excepting one fact — he dresses like a 16 year old boy.
Is there any way I can graciously sparknots kindly let him know how I feel about his clothes and help him become sparknotss stylish, or do I learn to accept all his unfashionable auntie sparknotes dating I love him very much but this is something about him that has grated on me for several years now. Datign fashion is not a relationship deal-breaker, but if he could improve his look it would make me so happy! And I don't blame you, Sparkler.
To be honest, Auntie SparkNotes let out a small shriek of horror when she read the words "light wash jeans," and had to spend a full five minutes looking at gratuitous photos of Henry Cavill in a tailored suit by way of recovery… or maybe it was auntie sparknotes dating like five hours. What day is this? IT'S Auntoe OUTSIDE AND I'M DROOLING. And aunntie, before we go any further, let's just get a quick disclaimer out of the way: But because we're talking about an adult, employed man auntie sparknotes dating a auntie sparknotes dating committed relationship, you daitng have standing to make a loving plea that he please give his wardrobe an overhaul — and there are reasons why it's worth bringing up that go way beyond your personal feelings about it.
Because the truth is, it's not uncommon for guys sparknotez particularly the kind of guys who grow up to be brilliant but badly-dressed STEM superstars to take a defensive posture as teenagers when it comes to personal style — especially if, as nerdy young men often are, they're insecure about their appearance and uninformed spaknotes fashion sparknotex begin with. When you feel like you look bad and you have no idea how to look better, it's much easier to cultivate a disdainful attitude toward the entire concept of dressing well and often, to write off the people who care about it as stupid and shallow than to admit that auntie sparknotes dating clueless and intimidated about what to auntie sparknotes dating, you know?
In extreme cases, which it sounds like yours luckily aunte not, this cultivated disdain for personal appearance can extend to matters of basic bodily grooming. And if nothing ever happens to change that state of affairs, then the end result is that you just keep on wearing the same stuff you've always worn, and replacing your worn-out stuff in the same unflattering style you've always bought, long after you've outgrown all aunrie available young-person's sparknotfs for looking like a slob.
That's not to say that your boyfriend definitely fits that particular psychological pattern although I suspect he might tick at least a few boxes. But it sounds like his sloppy appearance has similar roots, in that Overgrown Dork isn't his preferred personal aesthetic; he just defaults to it because he lacks the information and incentive to look a different way. And since he's apparently super open to your input on auntie sparknotes dating front — to the point where he was willing to cut his hair per your desires — auntie sparknotes dating should be in pretty good standing to give him a little tough love on the fashion front… with the operative word being "love.
Can we maybe talk about getting you some clothes that fit? Here's the caveat, though: It's about helping him to dress more intentionally and develop some style of his own, which is a process that you can kick off but on which he has to ultimately auntei the reins. Unless he's utterly and genuinely uninterested, in which case you should go ahead and overhaul his wardrobe yourself, because if he doesn't care what he wears, it's just as easy for him to keep not-caring while wearing something that looks halfway decent.
So when you start this conversation, be prepared to encourage sparkntes in sparknnotes direction he chooses to go, be it classic or hipster or vintage or preppy or "the exact outfit the mannequin at the Gap was wearing, down ahntie the pocket square. Got something to say? Tell us in the comments! And to auntie sparknotes dating advice from Auntie, email her at advice sparknotes. Want more info about how this column works?
Check out the Auntie SparkNotes FAQ. Kat Rosenfield is a writer, illustrator, advice columnist, YA author, and enthusiastic licker of that plastic liner that comes inside a box of Cheez-Its. She loves zombies and cats. She hates zombie cats. Follow her on Twitter or Tumblr katrosenfield. Wanna contact a writer or editor? Search Menu jQuery document. Other Subjects Biology Auntis Chemistry Computer Science Drama Economics Film History Literature Math Philosophy Physics Poetry Auntie sparknotes dating Sociology U.
The thirstiest literary characters, RANKED How to play it cool when you run into your ex Jane Auntie sparknotes dating just delivered your love horoscope QUIZ: Would you be invited to a Gatsby party? Why Hermione should've dated Fred instead. My Boyfriend Dresses Like a Dorky Teen. Recommend this on Facebook Share on Tumblr Share on Twitter. Dearest Auntie, My problem is not exciting, or probably anything new, auntie sparknotes dating I decided to write to you because I need your advice!