In strictly Orthodox Jewish jewosh, dating is limited to the search for a marriage partner. Both sides jewish matchmaking history the singles themselves, parents, close relatives or friends of the persons involved make inquiries about the prospective partner, e. A shidduch often begins with a recommendation from family members, friends or others who see matchmaking as a mitzvahor commandment. Some engage in it as a profession and charge a fee for their services.
Usually a professional matchmaker is called a shadchanbut anyone who makes a shidduch is considered the shadchan for it. After the match has been proposed, the prospective partners meet a number of times to gain a sense of whether they are right for another. The number of dates prior to histoey an engagement may vary by community.
In some, the dating continues several months. In stricter communities, the couple may decide a few days after originally meeting with each other. Also the natchmaking when shidduchim start may vary by community. In frum circles, especially among Hassidimeighteen is the age when shidduchim start and shadchanim take notice. Those who support marriage by shidduch believe that it complies with traditional Judaism 's outlook on Tzeniutmodest behaviour in relations between men and women, and prevents jewish matchmaking history. It may also be helpful in small Jewish communities where meeting prospective marriage matxhmaking is limited, and this gives them access to a broader spectrum of potential candidates.
Also, the decision as to whether or not the mate is good can be made with the emotional boundary of the shadchan who, if so desired by the couple, can call and talk to either side in the beginning stages of the dating to iron out issues that can crop up during the dating process. Usually as the couple see more of each other the shadchan backs away and lets the couple manage it themselves. It's expected that the couple keep the shadchan up-to-date on how the shidduch is going at regular intervals.
If the jewish matchmaking history works out then the couple inform the shadchan of its success. In recent years, a number of jewish matchmaking history sites have appeared on the Internet. Hiistory prospective partners either date each other or in stricter communities they go to a "bashow"  or sit in.
A typical bashow scene is that the young man with his parents goes to see the young hiistory in her house to see if the histroy couple are compatible. Both sets of parents talk to each other, and then when the setting is more relaxed, they go into another room, leaving the man and woman in the living room to speak among themselves. Some use this opportunity to actually ask each other pertinent questions, while some just want to see if they like each other, relying more on the information they got from the shadchen or from other people.
The number of bashow s prior to announcing an engagement varies, as some have many bashow s while others have as few as one, which is typical among the children of Hasidic Rebbes. Bashert or BeshertYiddish: It can also be used to express the seeming fate jewish matchmaking history destiny of an auspicious or important event, friendship, or happening. In modern usage, Jewish hisgory will say that they are looking for their bashertmeaning they are looking for that person who will complement them perfectly, and whom they will complement perfectly.
Since it is considered to have jewish matchmaking history foreordained by God whom one will marry, one's spouse is considered to be one's bashert by definition, independent of whether the couple's marital life works out well or not. The first recorded shidduch in the Torah was the match that Eliezerthe servant of the Jewish patriarch Abrahammade for his master's son Isaac Genesis Ch. Abraham gave him specific instructions to choose a woman Abraham's own tribe.
Eliezer traveled to his master's homeland to fulfill Jewish matchmaking history wishes, arriving at a well. After a short prayer jewish matchmaking history God for guidance, describing how a virtuous woman might act toward a traveling stranger at the well, Rebekah appeared on the scene and did everything described in Eliezer's prayer.
Eliezer then went with Rebekah to her family and appealed to them for permission to take Rebekah back with him to be Isaac's wife. Once this permission was granted, Rebekah joined Eliezer on the road home to Isaac. Even so, Isaac gained his own impression of her before agreeing to marry her Rashi, commentary to Genesis However, when Eliezer proposes to take Rebekah back to Isaac in Canaanhe is told by Rebekah's family: This is taken as an instruction for Jewish parents to weigh their child's opinion in the balance during an arranged marriage.
Regardless of whether proper procedure is followed, this is not the end of the decision - it is believed by Jews that the final say belongs to God, who may have different plans compare with the match of Jacob and Jewish matchmaking history. The Talmud Bavli Kiddushin 12a, first version states that academy head Rav would give corporal punishment to a man who would marry without shidduchinthat is,  without prearrangement by the couple.
The text gives three versions of Rav's practice; the other two versions disagree. Some authorities rule according to the first version,   while others rule according to the other two versions. In Kiddushin 41a states that a man should not marry a woman he has not seen, lest he come to violate Love your neighbour as yourself. The etymology of the words "shidduch" and "shadchan" is uncertain. The Medieval Rabbi Nissim of Gerona commonly called Ran traces it back to the Aramaic word for "calm" cf.
Targum to Judges 5: Although Jeish law allows for a bat-kohen to marry a challalconvert, or freed slave Hebrew eved meshukhrarthe Midrash jewish matchmaking history Talmud cite Rabbi Yochanan 's view that a daughter of the kohen is best off marrying a kohen. Rabbi Yochanan maintains that in the event a bat-kohen marries a non-Kohen, undesired results for the groom are likely to surface, such as machmaking or the demise of the groom.
Jewisj exception to this taboo is if the groom is a Talmid Chacham. Considering the prevalence of a number of genetic diseases in both the Ashkenazi and Sephardi communities, several organisations jewish matchmaking history notably Dor Yeshorim routinely screen large groups of young people anonymously, only handing them a telephone number and a PIN.