Dating a Past Drug Addict or Alcoholic
Three years sober reformed alcoholics dating. Would like to get some mens perspective on if you would date a woman that was in her late twenties and three years sober, hasn't fallen off the wagon yet and is in control of her sobriety. Bit more info, she doesn't have a problem being around alcohol in moderation, still goes to gigs in bars and nights out although she will remove herself from a situation if it gets uncomfortable.
I'm an alcoholic, been sober since I've been dating a woman three years acoholics, she's a drinker. It's never been a problem. She drinks at home, at restaurants, we go to bars and parties together. It's just not an issue. She drinks, and I stay with Sprite. It's got literally zero impact on our relationship.
Unless you're saying you go out and get fall-down drunk every reformed alcoholics dating as a rule. That's an extreme example, refored if you're talking about something like that, then I understand. I'm 22, a recent college graduate, and I like being able to go out a lot on weekends. I also like being able to indulge with my SO as opposed to having to indulge while my SO stays stone sober.
That, and there's the fact that, dating an alcoholic, or recovering, I would feel awful drinking around them, being intoxicated around them, or bringing alcohol around them. I wouldn't want to present them with temptation to relapse, and I would also feel, if we had the arrangement that you and your SO do, that I'm like the person eating a juicy burger sating front of someone who's on a diet.
Just to share one personal viewpoint I don't feel that way at all It's like if you ordered the beef and your SO ordered the chicken. I "no longer like beef". It's just like that. So go ahead and eat all the beef you like, I'll pass thanks. And I won't be drooling over your burger. I am probably reformrd typical in this regard. I'll say "no thank you" to oysters, to coconut custard pie, and to alcohol, just because I don't like them. Put oysters in front of me, I'll still pass, because I don't LIKE them.
It's the same with booze. This is really all I'd want. I use to have a problem with other drugs, so I'd never judge someone that struggled with addiction, and if they've beaten it, then even more respect. But I'd like not to have my freedoms restricted. So if she could handle herself while anuga matchmaking event me to continue drinking, then it would be perfect.
I guess it also should be said that I'm not one of those recovered alcoholics who can't be within 10 feet reformes alcohol. That's not the case at all for me, and I bet it's the same for a lot of us. Important to note - being many years sober, she was extremely good at comfortably rejecting alcohol and being in an alcohol-heavy environment.
Only a couple times over the entire length of the relationship was it a problem:. Just couldn't hang out with them during reformed alcoholics dating, no big deal. Didn't bother me, but I think she was pretty sad about it. This one was especially tough, because it seemed like some of the guys were aocoholics a candle for her, which is a normal problem, but the "you're not in AA" bent made it a little lacoholics for me. I want to point out this only happened once out of the many times I attended meetings.
My overall experience with her AA friends was very positive. I wanted to add another negative here, xlcoholics this applied less to my experience - sometimes the program AA can be very all inclusive, and people in the program spend a lot of time doing program things with program people. Look out for people who don't have their own things outside of the program. Another thing I will reformed alcoholics dating - this is going to be difficult, and I'm stereotyping, but Reformed alcoholics dating just want to share my true experience - is that she had her shit unusually together compared to other people I met.
Throughout our relationship I supported her at many meetings and had a chance to meet a lot of other people in the program. I would say by and large, many of them were still struggling reformed alcoholics dating find a method of living they were comfortable with and a way to have a happy and uninhibited social life. I never ding people for their problems - we all reformed alcoholics dating them - but I think it would have made the relationship more difficult over time if she wasn't so good at living a fulfilling life without alcohol.
Same as in any relationship - right? Someone who has their own thing in life is always going to bring more to a partnership. If they're looking to you for the strength just to get by, that's a red flag. Sounds like that's not the case for this girl. That said if they relapsed and didn't immediately try to get back on track I would hit the trails.
I am a recovering alcoholic as well, and from reformed alcoholics dating I've experienced not drinking reformex rarely a dealbreaker to the pool of guys that you're interested in assuming you don't want to date someone whose lifestyle reformed alcoholics dating centered around drinking. Whenever I shared the info that it was because I was a former alcoholic, I always got a nice, accepting response.
It's never been an issue. And I was 23 when I started dating around. I think when you start to grow older more and more people aren't going to care about you not being a drinker. You'll be pleasantly surprised! Congrats on three years without drinking! Out of interest at what point in a relationship did you bring up that you were a recovering alcoholic? Did you mention it casually or sit them down for a chat? Because I like drinking, recreation drugs and don't have a problem with them from an abuse stand point.
Alcoholicz their NEED for not having those things around is counter to my WANT of having those things around. My wants overpower their needs. Wouldn't bother me in the least. I'm not a big drinker to begin with and my dad is in recovery right now! Addiction issues are definitely difficult to overcome and it's good to know that that particular individual can. Everyone has a past.
Nobody is free of mistakes. Tree years sober is impressive. That reformed alcoholics dating a plus not a minus. THAT is admirable as well as admitting it is an issue. A woman within my dating demographic who was several years sober would refodmed to have been an alcoholic refored least until her mid 20s - it doesn't bode well if she was already a bottle fairy back then, because life surely won't get easier in your 30s or 40s.